Saturday, February 8, 2014

How to Detect Early Alzheimer's.......It's all about a Horse.

I need to paint a picture for you of where we
Live so you can decide for yourself in which
direction my life is headed....
You have to drive by two horse farms to get to
our house....
Oh it's lovely....especially in the Spring and Fall.
I Fell in Love with the Road the day we went to look
at the house with our Realtor...
I had Grand Plans to get a cute bike with a little horn
and a wicker basket on the handle bar....
of course a big straw hat....
I've been told I have a face for hats...
And then....
The county decided this beautiful iconic setting needed...
Speed Bumps....or as they call them here in the
South...
"Speed Humps"....
So the bike idea went out the window when the Boss
said I would have to wear a helmet....

That wasn't happening....
Big floppy straw hat or Nothing!!
I drive down this road every single day.....
Over those 9 freakin speed bumps...

(embellished for effect there are only 6)
The only thing that keeps me sane is looking
at those beautiful horses in the
pasture....
Aren't they Handsome....
See the white and tan one...
Some days he's standing...some days
He's sitting down....some days he's actually
lying on his back....You know like the Dead
Horse in Animal House....
I like to think of him as the "Boss" of
Horses...Because.....the Boss always says...
"Why stand when you can sit...why sit when you
can lie down...."
But....I do realize the horse is Alive and Well
and certainly not Dead....
even though he may look that way on
Occasion....
I have the common sense to realize this....
Or so I thought.....
Here is the other horse pasture....
Actually just some one's large back yard...
One Lone horse...
For argument Sake let's call him
"Mr Ed"....
Mr. Ed has been here as long as we have....
I see him every single day just like the
other horses only he has no one to play with.
He normally wanders the large fenced in
area and that is normally what I see him doing...
 
Until this past week...
Doesn't matter what time of Day or Night...
there he is.. standing in that same spot...
Staring....
He looks like he's put himself in
"Time Out"...
I have seen him there when I'm going and when
I'm coming home...
10:30 in the morning or
6:00 at night....doesn't matter...
Never moves....
You do know where this story is going
Don't You??

Yesterday I passed by...and there he was..

Same spot....not moving.... my first
Thought Was....

OMG....it can't be that the horse finally died and
the people had him Taxidermied...
Hey....don't laugh....we are in the South
where there is a taxidermist on every corner...
This actually went through my mind....
And here I am admitting it...
Second thought popped into my head....
The Horse did Die but they missed him out in the yard
So they went and bought a phony Horse
To take his place....
I thought perhaps the people really loved this
horse Or they thought it would just be fun
to see what the neighbors

would do...
This thought was warranted
because....
After All we are "those people"
With the Dummy Board of our dead Golden Retriever
On our Front Porch...

A fake horse is exactly what we 
would do...
The damn horse didn't move a hair for a whole week!!
What would you have thought....
This Horse Looks Fake....Does he not???
And...
If you have ever seen my house you 

know
Taxidermy animals are not unusual....
We Have seen in Person

Napoleon's Dead Horse...
And...
This is what a Taxidermied Horse 

Looks Like..

So I Finally got out of the car 

And I took his picture..
still no movement...

Until I got up close...
He blinked his eyes...
Must have been the flash :)
I sent it right off to the daughter

She confirmed
that it does indeed look like a Fake horse..

Nope......
He's Alive....I figure he is standing 

There hoping for
an invite from the horses down 

The Street...
Like a bad kid that no one
wants to play with..
I felt better that perhaps it was just a moment
Of excitement With the Thought that we too could have
our own Stuffed horse to go along
with the Buffalo head and yes...your seeing that
right....
Killed and stuffed right there in Aisle 5 at
FAO Schwarz on Fifth Ave....
Our new Leopard head...
Only temporary until I find a real head
to replace it....I hung it as a joke....But on
second thought I better take it down before
Daughter visits next or she will be having me
committed for sure...

I am hoping that it was just one of those
"Brain Cloud"
Moments and that at 63 years old my mind is
Not starting to stray....
So you make the call....
Early Alzheimer's.....or
"Just Plain Nutz".....

At least I didn't hear him talk!!



Disclaimer.....
this post although 100% true was meant to be lighthearted
No disrespect for people with Alzheimer's or friends who
have family members with this awful disease...
I was talking to the "Big Boss" a few years ago
when he called to say he was afraid the snow fall during the
night was going to kill his tomato plants...
It was August....
shortly after that Daughter went to visit and his
Home was sweltering hot and his fridge was filled with
food that had gone bad...
I contacted his primary care doctor and told him
our concerns....I knew something was very wrong..
The doctor said...
"It's none of your business....he's a grown man and if
this is the lifestyle he wants there is nothing
you can do about it"....
I couldn't believe his words......
Less then 2 years later....He woke one night
seeing dead people on the ceiling in his bedroom....
He died one month later...

From....
Alzheimer's/Dementia
And nobody ever diagnosed it.....
At 89 he was still driving every day...

So watch out for friends and family who make odd
comments...or do strange things...
Except for me of course.......
Hopefully if my mind goes I hope I get to keep
my sense of humor...

Me and My Dog...
 Can always entertain at the Old Age Home....

18 comments:

Kathleen Grace said...

That doctor's comment was shameful. Guess it's best to remember that some doctor's are jerks no matter the education. As for the horse, I would have been stopping to see if it was real too if it was in the same place, same position every day for that long! Poor thing is probably just hoping someone would stop and pay attention to it!

Unknown said...

I think the horse is standing there waiting for you to pass by :)
Always enjoy your posts and sense of humor
-Joan-
www.mvobsession.com

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Sue, being a young 63 just like you!! I might have wondered some of the same things about that crazy horse! Glad you satisfied your curiosity. Oh and I hate those speed bumps on that street also!
hugs, Linda

Sue said...

Poor horse - he just needs some friends.... Make sure you occasionally stop and visit with a treat or two. :-)
Love the latest addition to the wall- you're not headed to the home yet, IMHO.

Pondside said...

I want to be in whatever Old Folks home you go to - there will definitely be good times there!

Terra said...

Entertaining column and I wonder, does the horse ever get ridden? I think horses are social animals and need a companion, even a pony.

The Quintessential Magpie said...

That poor horse! He is probably lonely and would like someone to pay attention to him. Yes, he's daydreaming of the time when you will come by and wave at him, acknowledging that he is a beautiful animal and not some afterthought. Horses are herd animals, and I think he longs to be with others or at least a human. He goes somewhere in his mind to avoid being alone. Maybe he is running in a pasture with his mother.

I don't think you are odd at all, girlfriend. You are talking to a died in the wool Southerner whose family defined the word "eccentric", particularly Mr. Magpie's family. ;-)

As for me, I grew up in a house full of African heads staring down at me. Think "Out of Africa" with heads and chintz and limoges. LOL

xo

Sheila

Chatty Crone said...

Sue, I can't understand how a horse can just stand there all day and not move - don't they have to move? I have to give you that is a weird thing going on. Glad he is alive.

And your FIL would not let you help - but his doctor should have stepped in.

I love your sense of humor too!

sandie

ps I HATE SPEED BUMPS! It must be those fast and furious cars going to fast in your neighborhood. lol

Cathy Monroe said...

I wouldn't worry about your thoughts about the horse, you are a city girl, aren't you?

Peg said...

Hi Sue, Tennessee has more horses than any other state. We call them "pasture ornaments" because everyone has a horse but you never see anyone riding one... they just stand in the pastures to look pretty. If you want the horse to actually move, take him some Doritos or an apple. That will wake him up! He is bored to death.
BTW, I am making your pork kabobs in the crock pot tonight. They smelled heavenly. Then Pa came to the door and said, "Peg, we have a big problem." It seems the dog ran in the barn, straight into a skunk. After googling what to do, we washed her for 20 minutes in peroxide and baking soda and now she sits whimpering, confined to a cage. Well, we can't let a wet dog outside in 20 degrees! So the kabobs... they will taste good but the whole house smells like skunk!!!

WordsPoeticallyWorth said...

Nice horses.

Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

Clipped Wings said...

I think the horse is bored stiff, and just plain nutz has it's interesting side, speed bump lady. Always like reading your posts.

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Happy Belated Valentine's Day, Sue!

I hate to disappoint, but Daddy's valet was just a boy. Mama said that Daddy hired him to take care of (aka pick up) his clothes, etc. I guess the boy needed money (and Daddy couldn't even boil water!), and when Mama married Daddy, she went into a real bachelor's household! The housekeeper was the housekeeper for his grandmother and by distinguished, and she took care of Daddy, his brother, and also some of my grandmother's affairs after she died. The housekeeper mhelped my father and his brother run things and was an amazing lady. There was a legal guardian (actually three with one in charge), but this lady kept their home together until my parents married. Then she retired. She was afraid that she would interfere with Daddy's marriage since she had been there so long (even from the tome my grandmother was little) and wanted to give Mama a chance to establish their household together.

It wasn't Downton Abbey, but its Southern cousin and far, far less grand. He, however, did descend from some fascinating royal and noble characters, but was the most down to earth person ever. He was noble in his love for his family and royal In terms of having the biggest heart ever, and I loved him to pieces. A wonderful father and husband. :-). Can you tell who is a Faddy's girl? ;-)

xoxox

Sheila

The Quintessential Magpie said...

By = Very above

I didn't see that typo. It is the IPAD spelling for me. Argh!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Hideous typos... I can't see tiny print. Must need stronger glasses! ;-)

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Faddy's girl??? Egads!!! LOL

merrilymarylee said...

Ahem. . . a taxidermist on every corner? That must be Jawja. I've never seen one here in NC; the cellphone stores have taken all the spots, I suppose.

Last weekend we went to Atlanta and stayed in the Georgian Terrace for a Valentine's Mini-Moon. We had dinner and breakfast at the Livingston Restaurant there. Wonderful food! My plate was embarrassingly clean. As for my molten lava cake dessert, I may have scraped the finish off the plate, making sure I didn't miss a drop of chocolate goo (culinary term :) ) and ice cream.

Fairfield House said...

Hi Sue,
I raised and showed horses when I was growing up. Believe it or not, horses can become depressed and broken hearted, just like people. A depressed horse can show symptoms such as a lack of motivation, low energy, dull hair, or even chronic illness. I would offer it a carrot and some affection. Buster (my cairn terrorist) showed signs of dementia before he died. He would wander into my garden and couldn't figure out how to exit.
Your Friend,
Deborah